“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Mark Twain (Mark Twain Quotes, 2017)
True wisdom from a revered author. Unfortunately, this issue of aging is an issue that seems to be popping up for me a lot these days…now that I’m in the ‘over 50’ crowd. I’m happy to report, however, that I am getting better at accepting the “doesn’t matter” point! Take the other day, for example, when life, my life, mirrored a scene from a movie! A comedy of course…
And the scene, less than a minute from the 1984 movie Splash.
Picture this, the late, hysterical Dody Goodman appeared as Mrs. Stimler, an ‘upper middle-aged’ woman who was at her place of work wearing her bra on the outside of her blouse. Of course, she was oblivious to her clothing situation. It’s also worth noting that she appeared in other bizarre clothing moments as well throughout the movie – dressing in a shower cap and smock in another work scene for example. (Howard, 1984) The fact is, when I was young, these “Mrs. Stimler” moments made me laugh and appreciate the brilliant humor of the comedienne. Unfortunately, as I have aged and gone through “menopausal moments” (as I like to call them) I find “Mrs. Stimler” painfully real…and unfortunately mimicking my own life…for example…
I had a meeting to go to late yesterday morning. Since my main office, these days is located in my home I worked in the early hours wearing comfy clothes. No, not a shower cap and smock…but sweats and a T-shirt. Planning my time down to the wire, I showered and dressed quickly, grabbed my briefcase, and arrived at the meeting place with 20 minutes to spare. One other person arrived within minutes of me and we talked as the others slowly entered the room close to the meeting start time. Since I was running the meeting, I went up to the front and made sure the presentation technology was working correctly – pleased that it was. Then, to my horror, I had a “Mrs. Stimler” moment…
It was hot and the room we were meeting in had HVAC issues for the past several months. So, I had dressed in a classic, but lightweight, black and white top and comfortable, black cotton slacks. Unfortunately, as I turned to walk over to everyone I noticed a seam on the outside of my shirt. I had put it on inside out! I was horrified. Up to this point, I had been chatting easily, totally oblivious to the seams and tags sticking out of my top (Mrs. Stimler anyone?). Hoping no one had noticed I quickly said “Excuse me for a moment,” through gritted teeth, and then added “I’ll be right back,” as I sidestepped, smiling all the way, through the door. I then high-tailed it around the corridor to the Ladies’ Room. As I ducked into the enclosed stall and flipped my shirt around, I had the picture of good old Mrs. Stimler, bra on the outside, in my head.
Next steps? I started laughing. If they noticed, who cares? I’m old enough not to really worry or panic anymore and, as Mark Twain so poignantly told us, aging is actually “mind over matter.” The fact is if we want to age gracefully, we simply have to accept all that comes with it. So what is the answer?
Well, in this type of situation I can lay my clothes out ahead of time and check the seams! The problem is that “loss of memory and poor concentration can be annoying and sometimes funny, but also frightening” (Menopause, 2015). So what are some other strategies that can help? Making lists, keeping journals of events, having a daily calendar and log, and, very importantly, knowing you are not alone. Many other women are going through these “moments”. Finally, a discussion with your doctor is also a good thing as it can rule out anything really scary and put your mind at ease…or, with any luck, you’ll just move on and forget about it :)!
Works Cited
Howard, R. (Director). (1984). Splash [Motion Picture].
Mark Twain Quotes. (2017). Retrieved March 8, 2017, from BrainyQuote: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/marktwain103892.html
Menopause. (2015, Feb). Retrieved from Health Talk. Retrieved 8 May 2015.